FORGIVENESS

What is forgiveness? The definition that is commonly given asserts that forgiveness is the act by which a person forgets the hurt received, and renounces to hatred and revenge. But if it was really a forgetfulness (whether voluntary or effect of the passage of time) then forgiveness would be reduced to ignorance, that is, to an incomplete knowledge of the forgiven person and of reality, which instead should always be approached with an open mind and never avoided. Therefore forgiveness must be the result of a deep understanding of the person, of his actions and of the motivations and dynamics that led him to take an action that has hurt us or procured harm.

A "deep understanding", that is an act that involves both the intellect and the heart. As human beings we are not always able to see all the reasons that underlie an action and we are even less able to understand those reasons when the thinking is transported by rage and pain; because of this, a man is incapable of always forgiving. However, because it is an act that involves the heart, forgiving can be facilitated by a sincere repentance of the one who harms, and especially by the love for this person. Infact, forgiveness belongs to love because of the essence of the latter: love is the answer to the overall beauty of a person which shines for the one who loves despite the flaws of the beloved.

Because it is a voluntary act of understanding and not just simple forgetfulness, the remembrance of the tort comes back to the memory even with the passage of time, accompanied by the feeling of pain caused by it; therefore forgiveness will never be a once-for-all effort, but an act that needs to be constantly renewed.